Shame on me and my fat ass! 

Shame on me and shame on you! 

Recent ‘news’ has been flooded with Lady Gaga and her ‘fat pouch’. Oh bloody behave society-skinny! 

How dare I, or you, have any kind of pouch, pad or pocket of podge! How dare we have cellulite, stretch marks, spots or eye bags! How dare we wear revealing clothes when we ‘don’t have the figure to pull it off’. Basically how dare we have or do anything that shows who we are, how we feel or that we’ve lived and used our bodies for working, playing and producing! 

I have only one thing to say to anyone who feels the need to drag down anyone, male or female, about their figure: EFF OFF!

Simple! Eff off! I am the way I am and you are the way you are. Having spent the years between ages 12 and 24, being obsessed about my weight, having a flat tummy, toned legs, slim arms, clear skin etc etc I know how low this kind of attitude towards anything non-glossy-mag can make someone feel. Did it make me happier? Did it give me any kind of leg up to get me where I am today? Did it stop my boyfriend jumping ship and ‘falling in’ someone else? Did it fuck! Sadly, so many young girls and young women listen to the nonsense and allow it to, quite literally, shape them! 

Now aged 28 and not giving a shit about the image I’m ‘supposed to portray’, life is sweet. I’m not out to ride the wave-of-life with my figure as bait. Take my mind and humour as the measure of me and you’ll be my friend forever. I have a belly, a pair of nut-cracking thighs, the upper arms of a wrestler and the forearms of a small child – this is me, like it or lump it 🙂 

I’m pleased I have found my happy ground but, I must admit, I’m terrified for my sisters. Both the tender age of 16. The media stimulation they have nowadays is far more wide-spread, or do I mean it’s much more readily shoved down their throats?! either way they have a constant stream of ‘get fit’, ‘hot or not’, ‘be on-fleek’ (I bloody HATE that saying), ‘wanna be peng?’ WHAT THE HELL DOES PENG MEAN?!?!? No! No to all the afore mentioned! Wanna be individual? Want to stand out? What to be noticed? Be you! There’s only one you! Be the size you want, wear the clothes you want to wear, do your makeup as you wish, just make sure the choices are yours and not the dictated standards governed by an industry that makes money off men’s and women’s insecurities. 

On that note, have some of this: 

Quite literally my mans jumper and my standard makeup-less face (I might be the only girl in history who simply can’t ‘do’ makeup, it is beyond me!) and then…

oh…my mans polo shirt, sleeping bottoms, my riding coat and some mud with wellies underneath. First mucking out, then the food shop. I will change my shoes but I can’t promise I’ll brush my hair…pure class! Slightly different to the office attire today…black leather trousers, a ‘camel’ jumper and a massive black, fish tail Parker…and the black knee high boots. Did anyone comment on my figure? Of course not, they were all too worried about bothering me – the angry smurf. 

Ta ta for now you beautiful lot! 



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