Seventeen needles

Seventeen needles; nine blood tests, two cannula, four shots of saline, one shot of gadolinium and one shot of synthetic adreno-cortico-trophic hormone (ACTH), that’s enough for now, please! 

As I lay here, with my very ‘loud’ new friend as of 21st March – the headache from hell – I am hoping and praying for that call to come through on Tuesday, confirming the suspicions of the many consultants and specialists I’ve seen, so I may get on with getting better. Believe me, I don’t want to have what they are suggesting, I really don’t. As pathetic and ungrateful as it sounds; I don’t want to inject myself multiple times, daily. I am horrifically needle shy and if I can’t bring myself to do it then poor future hubby is going to have to be the administer of what will keep me going. 

On the other hand, if they find the result is negative, wow. More tests. 

However crushing that would be, I would not be hesitant to carry on placing myself in the hands of the team of Southampton General Hospital, they have been beyond incredible and I cannot believe the speed and intensity of which they have handled my condition. A*, 10/10, 100%! 

This will seem odd to say the least but, of all the wonderful and caring people I have met over the last month, the one person who stands out, above them all, is the Porter who wheeled me from my hospital room to my X-ray and back again. His voice, my God his voice, was IDENTICAL to that of my friend Brian. So terrifyingly identical that I kept forgetting it wasn’t Brian by my side. He was utterly brilliant. Engaging, funny and simply adorable – I stupidly did not get his name. 

A huge part of me, this is tragic(!), panicked when he left me. That familiar voice made me feel so much more at ease, like I could cope with being in a strange environment with no control of my surroundings. 

The chances of him ever reading this are quite literally zero but, if he ever did, I hope that he would take some kind of heart from my genuine gratitude for his time and care. It is VERY rare for me to form any kind of attachment that quickly and he simply made something so terrifying for me, so easy and so fun(!?). 

“Watch out, lads, this ones a trouble maker” 

So, ‘Mr Porter’ – from the girl you took for an X-ray at 11:45(ish) on 31st March 2016, AMU3, room 8 – thank you, beyond all words. You will never understand the difference you made to my state of mind that day and I’m sorry for the questions “do you have a brother?”, “where are you from?”, I just couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to have such a ‘familiar’ person by my side for something that felt so lonesome. Thank you! X

Heartfelt overflow of emotion done! The next step is waiting for the Synachen test results, that’s the synthetic adreno-cortico-trophic hormone (ACTH) one! 

Fingers crossed for some kind of solution. 

In the meantime please check out my FaceAche page for the joyful moments I’ve been experiencing throughout this process. I may be down but I’m certainly not out! 

Much love



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